Mental Health Matters...

Photo via Pexels In a world where fast food is more accessible than fresh produce and sedentary lifestyles are the norm, battling obesity has become a central issue for many men. Your health is your wealth, and by adopting a wellness-focused approach to life, you can fight obesity and reclaim your vigor. This journey requires dedication, discipline, and a comprehensive strategy that goes beyond mere dieting. In this article, courtesy of RT Counselling , we’ll go over a few ways you can stay fit by incorporating lifestyle changes into your daily routine. Fit Fitness into Your Busy Schedule Balancing a busy schedule with fitness can seem daunting, but incorporating small exercises throughout your day makes a big difference. Opt for stairs instead of elevators and embrace a brisk walk during lunch. These simple swaps fit seamlessly into your daily routine , enhancing fitness without demanding extra time. Such strategies ensure you stay active, combating obesity effectively amidst a hectic life. Unwind and Thrive Your body reacts to stress by releasing cortisol, a hormone that can lead to weight gain, especially around your midsection. Counteract this by integrating stress-relieving practices into your everyday life. Activities like yoga, meditation, and deep breathing not only reduce stress but also improve your emotional wellbeing , making you less likely to turn to food for comfort. By addressing stress head-on, you're laying a strong foundation for a healthier lifestyle that combats obesity. Find Your Fitness Passion Exercise shouldn't be a chore. To sustain an active lifestyle, it's crucial to discover activities that excite you. Whether it's the tranquility of swimming, the adventure of hiking, or the camaraderie of team sports, finding what you love is key to maintaining motivation. When you look forward to your workouts, staying fit becomes a part of your life rather than a dreaded task, making it easier to keep obesity at bay. The Power of Sleep Never underestimate the role of sleep in your fight against obesity. Adequate rest is paramount for regulating the hormones that control hunger and fullness. Ensuring you receive enough high-quality sleep each night can prevent overeating and help maintain a healthy weight. Consider your bedroom a sanctuary and prioritize conditions that promote restful sleep, such as minimizing screen time before bed and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule. Mental Health Matters Obesity and mental health are intricately linked. Issues such as depression and anxiety can lead to unhealthy eating habits and weight gain, but many men find it challenging to ask for help. Acknowledging and addressing any mental health disorders is crucial in your journey towards wellness. Don't hesitate to seek professional help when needed and incorporate practices that reduce stress into your routine. Often the shame and self-loathing assosciated to weight can be prohibiting and talking through and addressing these feelings can help get better control of them. A healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body in your fight against obesity. Hydration is Key Drinking water is essential for overall health and can be particularly helpful in managing weight. Often, our bodies can confuse thirst with hunger, leading to unnecessary snacking. By staying well-hydrated, you support your metabolism and help suppress appetite, making it easier to avoid overeating. Aim to drink water throughout the day, especially before meals, to aid in digestion and weight management. It’s also crucial to ensure that your body is getting enough water as you workout , so keeping a water bottle with you is advisable. Mastering Portion Control In today's supersized world, understanding portion sizes is more important than ever. Overeating, even healthy foods, can contribute to weight gain. Use tools like smaller plates and measuring cups to serve your meals, and listen to your body's hunger cues to avoid mindless eating . This simple yet effective strategy can help you enjoy your meals without falling into the trap of overindulgence. Embrace a Balanced Diet A nutritious diet is the cornerstone of any weight management plan. Focus on filling your plate with a variety of whole foods , such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. These foods are not only rich in essential nutrients but also high in fiber, which can keep you feeling full longer. By embracing moderation and variety in your diet, you can satisfy your taste buds while nourishing your body and combating obesity. For men, tackling obesity requires a holistic approach that goes beyond dieting and exercise. By integrating stress management, finding joy in physical activity, prioritizing rest, fitting exercise into a busy schedule, addressing mental health, staying hydrated, practicing portion control, and eating a balanced diet, you can create a sustainable lifestyle that promotes weight loss and improves overall health. Remember, the journey to wellness is a marathon, not a sprint. With perseverance and a positive mindset, you can achieve your health goals and enjoy a vibrant, fulfilling life. Ready to make a positive change in your mental health and overall wellness? Get in touch with the team at RT Counselling today to talk about your needs.

Image via Pexels Why Gender Matters in the Weight Loss Battle Women may find it frustrating that they lose weight slower than men. The leading cause of this phenomenon is that men are generally larger and have more muscle mass than women. In addition, with the spike in progesterone usually in the lead up to menstruation, a woman will often consume more calories, resulting in weight gain of up to 10 pounds a year. Women also produce 15 to 20 times less testosterone than men, a hormone that burns fat. It is important to understand the differences between women and men and how those differences affect weight loss. RT Counselling offers these points to keep in mind. Understand Your Risk Women and men are more susceptible to different health conditions. Furthermore, women are more vulnerable to depression and osteoporosis than men. That said, we are seeing a rise in men coming forward and being more open with admitting depression, largely due to a wider acceptance amongst society that it is okay to talk about mental health issues. Men too have body conscious issues, particularly in what is deemed attractive as the fit, body building male. Likewise, in fashion, the media and press an increase in disordered eating has been seen in men and women portraying thinness as somehow more attractive than a normal, healthy body shape. Industries like dance, ballet, media and even sport can lead to disordered eating and self-loathing, with often tragic consequences. Gender profiling or stereotyping further complicates how we perceive ourselves. We must embrace choice that people can identify with or feel more comfortable in any gender or body type. More frequently people are being referred to as male bodied or female bodied so that this encompasses people who are trans or identify to another gender than they were ‘assigned at birth’. Body dysmorphia a psychological condition whereby the person literally sees there body as bigger, or thinner than it actually is, can be a crippling form of self-deprecating thoughts. Therefore, whatever gender you identify as, looking for ways to control your weight, adopt a preventative lifestyle for these concerns through diet, exercise, and stress-free living. Document Your Journey and Reset Your Eating Habits Meeting weight loss goals is more than maintaining a healthy diet. You should also be keeping a weight journal that notes your daily diet, emotional state, and aspirations. Set specific, attainable, and relevant expectations. Additionally, your goals should have measurable and time-limited objectives. Finally, mindful eating helps you enjoy your cuisine and makes you feel full sooner. Mindful eating involves: • Eating in a space with no distractions such as a television • Eating slowly • Focusing on the flavors and textures of your meal. • Drinking sufficient water Get Your Exercise Exercise is a component of weight loss that relieves stress and gets the body more muscular and toned. It releases endorphins and dopamine the natural happy drug we produce in the brain – win, win! For example, Pilates strengthens and lengthens your muscles while toning them. It achieves this through isometric training . As a result, doing Pilates reduces stress, stimulates weight loss, and increases energy. Some other widely available options you might consider are yoga, swimming, and hiking. Even walking regularly makes a difference. Use a map of your community to map out the best walking routes . Taking a 30-minute walk every day can be a significant boon to your overall health. Relieve Stress by Making Your Home Inspirational Living stress-free requires a healthy diet, quality sleep, and exercise. If you're not motivated to stay healthy, one helpful way to get back on track is to create a pleasant home environment. Do some decluttering, open your blinds, and add some houseplants . A little greenery can go a long way to making you feel better, and if you don’t have a green thumb, there are plenty of online resources to help you get a handle on keeping them happy and healthy. A change of scene can also help. Get outside and enjoy nature and sunshine, strolling in local parks or through your neighborhood. Design Your Home Office for Less Stress. Create a space with good natural lighting if you have a home office. When you don't have natural light, use full-spectrum light bulbs, which simulate natural light, reduce eye strain, and improve mental health. This type of light bulb also benefits indoor plants, which can likewise reduce stress. Additional tips to create a stress-free home office include decluttering your workspace and creating a storage system for files and documents. Organize Your Mind Organizing your living space and office will make you more comfortable, thus reducing stress. People can freeze up mentally in a cluttered space, so you can use stylish containers to store items that don't mesh with the room's design, such as toys, magazines, and important papers. Watching fish in an aquarium is sometimes hypnotizing and can take your mind away from your troubles . In addition, aquariums promote mental health, and senior living centers use them for Alzheimer's patients. Alternatively, hang pleasant and positive art or photographs. Reuben is a qualified Hypnotherapist and can help motivate you with weight management ro weight loss. You can find out more about how Hypnotherapy aids weight management here - Next Chapter Therapies. Organize Your Medical Files Keeping your medical files and documents organized is essential for maintaining your health and ensuring effective communication with healthcare providers. When it comes to sharing these important files with doctors, it's often more convenient to use PDFs rather than Microsoft Word, Excel, or PowerPoint files. PDFs are widely accepted and easier to view across different platforms. To enhance the ease of handling these files, you can use an online tool that allows you to manipulate, edit, and even rotate the orientation of your PDF . This can be especially useful if you have scanned documents that need adjusting. With these tools, you can simply drag and drop your files into the platform to edit them. This functionality ensures that your medical documents are not only well-organized but also readily accessible and presentable whenever you need to share them with healthcare professionals.  Eat Better, Move More, and Don't Stress To help prevent severe health conditions, maintain a balanced lifestyle that includes exercise, proper nutrition, and stress management. Use these tips while keeping the specific needs of women in mind to help guide you on the path to a healthy future. Therapy offers an important step in discovering the world around us and finding our place in it. For some people, coming to therapy is a big step. It can take courage to identify a need to heal, recover or progress. RT Counselling’s approach aims to ensure that you feel safe in the knowledge that you can trust the therapeutic process. Reuben holds these same values highly in his approach to Hypnotherapy. Why not get in touch today for a free no obligation consultation to discuss your specific needs: Hypnotherapy Contact RT Counselling Contact

Embarking on a journey of personal growth is both a rewarding and transformative experience. This comprehensive guide, courtesy of Hal Salazar at Elders Today in collaboration with RT Counselling , provides you with essential strategies for stress management, goal setting, and making life-altering decisions. It's designed to equip you with the tools necessary for achieving your dreams and living a life brimming with fulfillment. Let’s get started! Harmonizing Work-Life Balance The first step in your journey is learning to identify and prevent burnout. It's crucial to recognize the signs of excessive stress and take proactive measures to maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life. This equilibrium is not just vital for your well-being but also ensures sustained productivity and job satisfaction. Remember, balancing your professional and personal life is essential for long-term happiness and success. Conquering Anxiety and Fear Navigating through feelings of anxiety and fear is a pivotal part of personal growth. Counselling is one of the ways to explore and unpack the underlying reasons behind your experiences of Anxiety. This involves understanding the root causes of your fears, developing coping strategies, and learning to view challenges as opportunities for growth. Next Chapter Therapies offers Hypnotherapy which is anoher to way to master techniques to manage these emotions , you can transform them into positive experiences that contribute significantly to your development. In this sense you are reprograming the neurons in the brain to help oversome the symptoms of anxiety. Embracing these techniques will not only enhance your resilience but also open doors to new, enriching experiences. Strategic Goal Setting Setting clear, achievable, and meaningful goals is a powerful tool in your personal growth arsenal. These goals should be a reflection of your values and aspirations, guiding your path towards success. It's about understanding what truly matters to you and setting a roadmap to achieve it. This process not only keeps you motivated but also ensures that your efforts are focused and aligned with your ultimate life objectives. Financial Empowerment through Home Refinancing Financial decisions, such as refinancing your home, can have a profound impact on your life. This strategy can lead to better interest rates , resulting in significant savings and reduced financial stress. Being informed, understanding your options, and making choices that align with your financial goals. Empowering yourself financially is a critical step towards a life of reduced stress and increased opportunity. Developing a Tailored Self-Care Routine Creating a self-care routine that suits your individual needs is vital for your overall well-being. This might include activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies that relax and rejuvenate you . It's about making time for yourself, nurturing your body and mind, and ensuring that you're at your best every day. A robust self-care routine is the backbone of your daily wellness, impacting your ability to navigate life's challenges effectively. Pursuing a Fulfilling Career If your current job does not align with your passions, consider a career change. Working in a field that resonates with your interests and life goals can dramatically increase your professional and personal fulfillment. It's about finding that sweet spot where your skills, passions, and job opportunities intersect. A fulfilling career is a key component of a satisfying life and is essential for long-term happiness.  The Importance of Quality Sleep Prioritizing quality sleep is fundamental for your physical and mental well-being. It's about more than just the number of hours; it's the quality of sleep that counts. Good sleep rejuvenates your body and mind, preparing you for the challenges of the next day. Ensuring adequate and restful sleep is a critical component of achieving your best life, impacting everything from your health to your productivity. Implementing these strategies can lead to a profound improvement in your quality of life. Managing stress, setting meaningful goals, and making thoughtful life choices set the foundation for a fulfilling future. By taking these proactive steps, you position yourself for a life filled with accomplishments, satisfaction, and personal growth. So, embrace these practices, and start living your best life today. RT Counselling and Next Chapter Therapies offer mental health services that can help you feel better. Get in touch today to talk to a Reuben.

After the scrumptious indulgence of Christmas Dinner, and all the leftovers are piling up in the fridge, we find ourselves in that in between phase before the next celebrations on New Year’s Eve. It can be an odd time, nursing hangovers, feeling stuffed and peering down to almost see all that food and drink visibly in our expanding bellies. Those of you who have the self-control to abstain I admire greatly. For me food, music, the love and companionship of friends and family forms the essence of life at any time of the year. But those of us who celebrate Christmas and New Year have a good excuse to party hard! No harm in that – everything in moderation springs to mind though. As we say goodbye to another year and welcome in a new one, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the past and making resolutions for the future. One of my favourite pastime’s is settling on the sofa once the party ends to watch Jools Hollands Hootenanny. He has such talented musicians and part of the fun is the random old stars he drags out. The point here is I was struck by how Jools asked all of his guests without failure – “have you been reflecting on the past and what intentions do you have for the future?” I am beginning to learn that resolutions invariably fail. Or at least some have been broken for me and others I have kept to. We pile on too much pressure to achieve big goals. In fact, if we set realistic targets, we are more likely to achieve them. So yes, absolutely try to drink less, stop smoking, lose weight or have a healthier diet. But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t keep to it, rather celebrate each day that you do manage a small change. Another thing to consider if when looking at self-improvement are things like kindness and compassion for others. When we give and receive love, we get a little rush of endorphins and feel happy and grateful for all of the wonderful people in our lives. Gratitude practice goes a long way. If you are feeling lonely, try to reach out to others by small gestures of kindness and see how long it takes for it to be reciprocated… give it a try, you might fall in love with someone or make a new friend. It is a New Year after all, what have you got to loose. “So, that all sounds great, but what are your New Year’s resolutions Reuben”, I hear you say: I do try to practice what I preach! For the past few years, I have set out to do Dry January, mostly making it to the 31 st day of the month, this year I am confident I will. Detox is always purifying and energising. I am also joining my son, who became a resolute Vegetarian about a year ago, because it is cool these days and he has passionate morals in life. What a living legend that boy is. So, I am going to try one month of eating delicious vegetarian food, which I will thoroughly enjoy eating, sharing and feeling like I am being generally a bit healthier. I like to call it Vegetanuary as Veganuary is reserved for vegans Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead, whatever it might bring. As I say to my nearest and dearest, "Big Reuby Love". If you enjoyed reading this blog, please do share it and leave a comment by forwarding this blog link – Happy New Year 2023 .

“Tis’ the season to be Jolly”… or is it? I’ve slept well these last few nights. Probably on account of allowing myself the spoils of excess – it is the festive period after all. That’s my excuse, and I am sticking to it. But I awoke at 3am and took a while to reflect on why I couldn’t slip back into slumberland. It dawned on me, perhaps in a peculiar way, it was a kind of hankering after, or concern for all my clients well-being. Less than a week apart, and my little brain became addled with a kind of distant rumination. One of my younger clients, who of course remains anonymous, said recently of Christmas: “F$£k that, I am expected to be happy just because you guys tell me to, while you get pissed and pretend to be happy for a day”…. It’s not verbatim, but you get the idea. This young lad is angry at his role models, his parental figures. We haven’t delved deeper into his resistance to unanimous joy during the festive period. But if we did, I would hazard a guess that an absent father and inconsistent mother have meant he has experienced a few less than happy Christmas’s. .Aside from those who have lost loved ones, for which we all spare a thought at any time of the year – even if the more celebrated occasions can be harder. Fortunately, this year, I have not had any more traumatic reasons recounted to me about why Christmas can be tainted with sadness, loss, or hard memories But it made me reconsider sending out a conventional “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year” kind of message to all my dear clients. When you begin to consider the above statement and the wider implications of what Christmas really means, you realise sending a gushing message full of “ding dong merrily on high” and “Tis’ the season o be jolly”, might actually be like rubbing salt into the wounds of those who don’t feel the seasonal joy. I decided instead to share some tips on mindfulness and meditation as my little gift to one and all. So, do share this post on your social media or forward this email on to anyone who might benefit from a bit of chill in their lives: 1. My latest progressive muscle relaxation meditation or ‘induction’ stage of hypnosis. · PMR with background music link here · PMR without music can be found on my website: Next Chapter Therapies . 2. Listen to a guided meditation on an App every morning as soon as you wake up or every evening before you go to bed. They can be as short as ten minutes and we can all factor ten minutes into our daily lives. There are loads to choose from, just head to the App store on your smart phone or do a search online. I am currently using calm. 3. Take a daily walk and connect with nature. If you live in a city, find a local park or wildlife reserve. A breath of fresh air and practicing gratitude for the beauty this world has bestowed can be uplifting and healing. 4. Take up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. 5. Get creative, whether that’s art, music, writing, crafting, playing: anything that gets you outside of your overthinking mind. 6. Try to get a regular and consistent sleep routine. 7. Gratitude practice: Try Tamara Levitt from Calm’s: Gratitude Countdown from 10 to 1 marking anything you feel grateful for. Note, it doesn’t have to be the big significant things like family, health, or a loved one. Rather, it can be noticing little things such as the sunlight streaming through the window, the warmth of a cup of tea on your palms, or the refreshing feel of the morning shower. I am going to leave it with seven little tips for now, as seven is my lucky number and while I am not a practicing Jew, seven represents luck and good fortune in Judaism. Faith is another reason Christmas can mean different things to all of us, but I feel that could be an entirely separate app. So, what better way to end this year’s seasonal message than wishing you all good luck and fortune in 2023. Try some of the above self-care tips and see what a difference it can make…. Until my New Year post, wishing you all love and kindness for the end of one year and the beginning of another. Reuben If this little Christmas cracker of a post has inspired or moved you, pleas share via my blog link.

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‘Whether the subject receives support from the mother, or has differences with the mother, or is neglected by the mother, biographers tend to enlarge mother with mythical greatness, confusing the power of her archetypal image with the power of the individual” [1] - James Hillman, The Souls Code It is a firmly established belief that contact and bonding with mother in the first year of life and immediately after birth establishes a more secure foundation for adult life. Within the first few days if a mother has been able to breast feed the colostrum in their milk nourishes and protects the newborn baby. But the skin to skin, physical warmth, comfort, and presence must also begin to form a secure attachment type. Of course, as life continues, circumstances can disrupt this. A mother may choose to return to work after around 9 months and whilst the baby has developed significantly in this time, part of that development would be the realisation of absence. In our modern world, it is increasingly common for the dad to step up as primary care giver whilst Mum works, or for the baby to be left in the hands of a relative stranger in childcare. I cared for our first born at this stage as did my father for me, some 41 years ago. The mother may feel torn. A degree of guilt and even shame at making this decision, but she also has just as much right as a man to continue her career pathway. Assuming the father is adept in expressing physical and emotional comfort, the transference of baby from one gender to another would seem to have little or no impact. When, in therapy circles we refer to adult attachment types, does a baby cared for by both parents develop ambivalent attachment styles? I would suggest not. Rather that the combined love has instilled a secure one – a well-rounded and adapted adult. Too much onus seems to be attributed to the responsibility of mother to have an innate ability to care, provide love, protect, and nurture. Very little space is given to the millions of fathers who also provide these essential needs. I believe this creates an unhealthy dichotomy - portraying the mother as pious and the father as inept. In The Souls Code, Hillman justifies the absent father as ‘necessary’, because he is the connection with the outside world. This is a sexist outlook, it assumes women are housebound and excuses men to have the freedom to do as they please, even beyond the workplace. Yet, I have had several female clients with absent fathers, who seem to have a similar reasoning – “Oh, I’ve accepted that dad was always working to provide, its rubbish but I understand why he had to.” Really? In 2021, are we not trying to address the imbalance and inequality seen towards women and their opportunities and salaries? Do we not also have more families where both Mum and Dad work long and hard hours? Hillman went on to speak of how fathers are depicted as a bit stupid and incapable, the archetypal Homer Simpson springs to mind. While this may be true, it only serves to feed the idea that women are somehow better at raising children. Yes, mothers the world round do give love, dedication, nurturing, care, and moral fibre with complete unassuming grace. But not all of them. Fathers are given more opportunity to fulfil the roles previously assigned to women in the home and many are just as capable. Sometimes the expectation to prove themselves can make a man’s work in the home or with his children shine even brighter, due to the conscious effort applied. There are countless men who choose to and always wanted to be highly active fathers and know that this means committing on every level. Men who know how to provide the most sincere and nourishing type of love for their children. We may all get it wrong sometimes, but if the fundamental principles and needs of a child are met, I believe this can come from either gender. While some recognition and praise is given to such fathers, there is still a leaning towards the idea that a mother will somehow love better, more completely or naturally. This seems unfair when there are many examples of absent or dysfunctional mothers as well as fathers. People who have had no template of how to love, struggle to give and receive it. But they can learn how to. I have helped a father with this predicament recently. Simply by opening up and finding better, more congruent ways to express his feelings as well as trying to understand his sons needs better, he left therapy a changed man – a changed father. Then there is the scenario of same sex parents. Having been partially raised in a same sex relationship and having a sibling who was entirely raised by two women, I think I can testify to this. My sister raised by my Mum and her now ex female partner is in a very solid, mature relationship. One where they have openly discussed their attachment styles and needs. Even choosing to separate for a while whilst each one worked on theirs before reuniting. It is refreshing to see that Celebrity gay couples such as Elton John and David Furnish and their two boys have been widely reported with a sense of normality. Even the tabloids seem to have steered away from homophobic criticism or judgement of their ability as fathers, tending to focus more on the age difference between the two men. The fact remains that so long as the child’s fundamental and wider nurturing needs are met, it really should not make any difference what gender has provided them with this. A child with love, encouragement, praise and recognition will flourish in life, one without will wither. A child with one parent giving more of the nurturing and the other lacking these skills or being absent, will be affected and no doubt confused. But again, I don’t think we can attribute more weight to how affected the child or adult is based on gender alone. [1] HILLMAN, J., 2017. SOUL'S CODE. [S.l.]: BALLANTINE.